


Statement 10871- Daydreaming

by BaronetCoins



Category: Destiny (Video Games), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Canon? What Canon?, Crossover so niche I only know one other person who'll read it, M/M, Really it's a sad one buckle in folks, Statement Fic, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 06:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19223068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaronetCoins/pseuds/BaronetCoins
Summary: (Recorder click)JS: Statement of Razel Baudin, regarding his experience with an entity calling itself the “Ahamkara”. Statement recorded direct from subject, 7th of June, 2019. Recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins





	Statement 10871- Daydreaming

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kangoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kangoo/gifts).



> Wow! Ok! This is a thing I did!

(Recorder click)

JS: Statement of Razel Baudin, regarding his experience with an entity calling itself the “Ahamkara”. Statement recorded direct from subject, 7th of June, 2019. Recording by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins.

JS:What brings you here?

RB: I was told that this was the place to bring a weird experience. Figured I should tell some people about what happened who could actually deal with it. Ikora’s the smartest person I know, and I can’t tell if she doesn’t know what to think or doesn’t believe me.

JS: (interrupting) Your statement?

RB: Oh, yeah. It started for me a few years ago. I had been traveling around in my van, but it broke down and I couldn’t really afford to repair it. Ikora, my friend helped set me up with a cushy job as a Park Ranger, and I ended up settling down. I started going to this place that taught Mixed Martial Arts just to keep moving. Had a really nice teacher, pretty famous. Named Andal. Then one day, he got into a car crash. It was nasty. He actually lost an arm. That’s when he brought in his friend, Cayde to teach some classes. And that’s when I thought, “oh shit. He’s hot.” And he was. We hit it off right away. And you know, hit each other. So when Cayde asked me out, I said yes. In a heartbeat. He always has this… pack of cards he would fiddle with. Just take it out and shuffle it, letting them run through his fingers. Named his car the Ace of Spades too. After about a year, we started living together. It was just one evening. He went out to get some takeout- Chinese. From our favorite place. Another car came hurtling through a red light. A drunk driver. Could have happened to anyone. He was already dead when the paramedics arrived. They… they found the ring in his hoodie pocket. His goddamn hoodie he wore everywhere. He was buried in it too.

So I left the funeral. With the fucking ring hin my pocket. He left me the fucking ring. And the car. And everything he had. I… haven’t gotten rid of it yet. So I went home? And I went to bed. My work gave me a few days off to “recover”. Recover. (scoffs) Like it was a cold.

Funnily enough, I didn’t remember locking the doors behind me. I certainly do remember hearing Ikora knocking on them for what felt like hours. I remember lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and feeling the hole he had left. Spent most of the day dozing off. I dreamed about him, you know? Dreamed his arm was draped over my side as he snored through the night. I could… (laughs) I could have sworn I felt his breath on my neck. It was just so real? Loss can do funny things to the brain, I’m told. At least it was a nice dream, even if it ached to wake up with the hole next to me. I had a lot of dreams like that.

It was an addictive feeling, dreaming of him by my side. All it took me was a night or two and I was hooked. Started skipping dinner after a while. My whole world started to turn into this rigid cycle of work to bed to work to bed to work to bed… and into the whole dream world. Mostly, we’d lie there together, his arm wrapped around my body. Sometimes he’d hold my head in his hands, gently caressing my cheek. Sometimes we kissed. Every time I’d wake up to the shattering roar of my alarm, and feel a little wisp disappear from my side. Just the smallest hint of breath along my neck. Just enough to keep me thinking about him. God, I wanted Cayde back more than I had ever wanted anything before in my lifetime.

I thought… I thought I would do anything for him back. So yeah. The dreams. Went on for… maybe a month or so before things started to get weird. I mean, weirder than dreaming about your dead boyfriend on a nightly basis. It got weirder, in the sense that he started to talk to me. It started as just a “hey” one night. Then we would talk about our days. The sort of easy, low key, late night conversations we always used to have. It was just so easy to slip back into our old habits. He’d crack jokes, I’d tell him about the wacky people I saw at work. He’d crack more jokes about it.

So when he rolled over and pulled me around to face him, I wasn’t startled or scared. He wrapped his arm over my shoulder and leaned in close. Our foreheads were inches apart. I swear, I could _feel _his breath.__

____

“You know, you could have this for real.” He smiled with a smile that was not Cayde’s. “As opposed to this little… teaser.”

____

I didn’t breath. I just stared at him. Or… it? It… he? traced my jaw with a finger.

____

“It could be… so easy, oh bearer mine,” He whispered. I blinked, he blinked back. He shoved me towards the side of the bed. I woke up when my back slammed against the floor. My alarm was beeping softly in the corner. I stumbled out to my car, and barely made it to work on time. My boss stared at me, but he waved me inside anyway.

____

I didn’t really remember driving home. I do remember that I spoke first that night. As soon as I noticed him, I rolled over.

____

“What do I have to do?” I asked. He smiled, again with the smile that wasn’t Cayde’s.

____

“All _you _need to do is stay here,” It whispered. “And trust me.”__

______ _ _

I watched the face slip back into a more familiar smile. He reached close, and pulled me in for a long, slow kiss. It felt just a little bit cold, but he wouldn’t let go. I fell asleep, being held close to Cayde’s chest.

______ _ _

It was another week or so before the inevitable day where I slept through work. That morning, I woke up and rolled over to face his side of the bed. I noticed his glasses sitting on the countertop. It was just like he’d leave them when he went to bed for the night. It just floored me with the memory of when he would wake up, bleary eyed and try and pull me back to bed with a kiss.

______ _ _

It was hard to pull myself out of bed, but managed to wander into the kitchen. I caught the tail end of a ring, and picked up my phone to see upwards of 10 voicemails. A few from my boss, a few from Ikora, one or two from my mom. Played them all through, listening to Ikora’s unshakeable calm and my mother’s slight panic.

______ _ _

I rang them both back and passed it off as a simple mistake. It was surprisingly simple to lie to them. They left me with the promise that I’d find a professional to talk to. The apartment kitchen was mostly bare. I ate the last bit of leftover chinese, and decided I might as well go back to sleep. This time, I made sure I had set the alarm on my phone so I could make it to work.

______ _ _

That night, he wrapped me up in his hoodie. I stared back up at him, as he smiled down towards me, brushing my hair away from my face. He started to tell me one of his longer, more elaborate stories. The one about the time he managed to scare off a thug who was harassing a city cat with some threatening poses. I laughed, and he just pressed a kiss to my forehead before picking up his glasses, and walking out to the other room. I fell asleep snuggled deep in his hoodie.

______ _ _

Of course, what was weird was that I woke up that way too. It felt warm against my cheek, and fuzzy. When I blinked open, it took me a second to realize that the hoodie should have buried 6 feet underground. I flung it across the room, trying to rub it off from my face. I could see a little bit of blood splattering the back and sleeves.

______ _ _

I ran out of the house quickly, barely stopping to grab my bag. I’d been riding the bus since Cayde’s car was totaled, but I found the keys in my pocket again. I chucked them back through the door, still sprinting.

______ _ _

On the way home, I went the opposite direction to go and visit his grave. Figured it would be the right thing to do to set my mind to rest at last. So I got on the bus, and headed out of town. He’d been laid to rest in a cemetery outside of town, with a good view of the city and also the local forest.

______ _ _

We turned the corner and I saw a line of yellow tape closing off the scene. Didn’t even have to look at the rest of it. I turned tail, and ran home as fast as the damn busses would take me. I cracked open the front door slowly, setting my bag down. A little speck of dirt caught my eye, as I followed it to the bedroom.

______ _ _

When I cracked open the door, I screamed. I’m a tough man, but I’ve never seen anything like that. It had eyes all the way across its face, with a giant, beetle like face that snapped at me. It was wrapped around a pile of flesh and bones sitting on the bed.

______ _ _

“You’ve come too soon, Oh bearer mine,” It snapped. I got into the basic stance.

______ _ _

“What the fuck are you!” I shouted at it. It coiled, and recoiled.

______ _ _

“Wish-granter. Curse-maker. Ahamkara.” It sneered.

______ _ _

I stepped back, ready to bolt. “What are you doing with him?”

______ _ _

It just seemed to laugh, and stepped back. The body lurched to its feet, stumbling towards me with arms outstretched. I turned to run. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore. I went to go sleep at Ikora’s house, where I didn’t dream. When I finally went back to my apartment with Ikora, all that was left was a trail of dirt. She just sort of helped me clean up. I think I’m going to find a new one. Haven’t dreamed much at all.

______ _ _

JS: (clears throat) Statement ends.

______ _ _

(Recorder click)

______ _ _

JS: The details of this statement haven’t been too hard to verify. A Cayde Sikora did die in a car crash. Razel Baudin did have a few days where he did not arrive to his job as a park service worker. Cityview Cemetery reported a grave robbing incident, though the body was apparently never returned. Based off of the details, I cannot seem to ascribe any known entity to the behaviors reported. Further research will be required.

______ _ _

(Recorder click)

______ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> As always, the wonderful Razel belongs to the even better Kangoo. Many thanks for letting me use him. I got the idea for this the other day, and then it spiraled. It's a bit of a departure from what I normally write, and I hope it turned out ok.


End file.
